Today is my 20th birthday. Let’s just say a lot has changed since this day last year (which would be my 19th birthday). I decided that the sadness leading up to spending my birthday on the opposite side of the country from the people I would like to spend it with wasn’t worth it, because a day dedicated to me is stupid and I’m just going to make it about Jesus. I went to church, went to a Nationals & Phillies baseball game with my roommates that just so happened to fall on my birthday, took a great nap, and went on a run to Pinkberry :-)
But that didn’t stop me from having a moment…
20 is a big deal for me! Everyone says 21 is the one to look forward to, but 20 is such a milestone! At least for me…it really made me reflect on the where these 20 years have brought me, which was not a very good thing lol. At this point in my life, I’m just very confused and lost about a lot of things. I’m discontent with a lot of things, even though I know how lucky I am.
I just needed some quiet time with the Lord. I felt him say to me, “stay near to me and I will make it beautiful” I don’t know who I am or where I’m going, but he does. All I know is that whoever I end up being, I want to make sure that it’s nothing short of what God created me to be. I want to turn out to be exactly who he had in mind when he made me. I trust that if I give him all the broken pieces that are me at the moment, he will take care of them and mold them in to his image.
When I got to DC, I was sure that it would be this great adventure and I would grow so much closer to God. These past 7 weeks have been such a whirl wind and I’ve never been so busy in my life. I haven’t spent as much time in devotion or prayer or just quietly with God as I should, and I felt guilty for that. I feel like I threw away this precious time and didn’t make the best of it. But I felt like he wanted me to know that this is not the adventure, the adventure doesn’t stop. I thought that these 10 weeks of my life would be this great adventure with God, but my whole life is an adventure with him. The next 20 years will be a brand new adventure.